Icing ISIS

It’s hard to understand how a group of barbarians like ISIS is allowed to exist. Americans are united on this one: ISIS needs to be crushed. So why are these thugs still extant?

It’s time to go over to Syria and Iraq and do what Americans do. Kick ass.

But we’re a war-weary people, so sending the military might not be the way to go. I think I have a better way.

But first, some strategic thinking. How big a force do we need to wipe out ISIS? Well, how many fighters does ISIS have? The estimates range from 20,000 to 200,000. The CIA thinks the number is 40,000. Russia says 70,000. The Kurds, who are engaging ISIS in their front yard, say 200,000. A prominent think tank placed ISIS numbers at between 100,000 and 200,000.

So we need an expeditionary force of at least half a million.

I call for volunteers to go annihilate ISIS, and I think I know who’s ready and willing.

640px-Sofia_MilitiaThere are 100,000 militia members in the U.S. They are trained,  ready and their trigger fingers are itching for a real fight. Most of their paranoia so far has been directed at the federal government, but it would be easy to redirect their fury at ISIS. They’re already armed, so all they need is transport to within shooting distance of ISIS.

Of course the National Rifle Association boasts 5 million members. If only 10 percent of them joined the fight to ap_nra_president_charlton_heston_ll_131025_16x9t_384eliminate ISIS, we’d have our army of half a million from the NRA alone. Lord knows they have the guns and ammo. .

Every army needs a mobile force, a cavalry. There are 40,000 members of biker gangs in the U.S. They’re rough, tough and ready to rumble. They’re armed and dangerous. Send them and their bikes over and give them some meth and turn them loose.

hells-angels-bikes-for-kids-27712_1How about some urban guerrillas? Recruit from the 1.4 million young  hooligans in America’s inner city gangs. Even if you only got 10 percent of these hardened, street-wise, tough guys, that’s 140,000 foot soldiers with attitude.gang20members

Where else can you find some violent bad asses who are willing to kill people? America’s prisons, or course. We have more than 2 million criminals in jail, more than any other country, even China, which has four times our population. But that’s another issue for another blog. Back to wiping out ISIS. Send homicidal convicts.  You don’t even need to offer reduced sentences or

Inmates stand in a gymnasium where they are housed due to overcrowding at the California Institution for Men state prison in Chino, California, June 3, 2011. The Supreme Court has ordered California to release more than 30,000 inmates over the next two years or take other steps to ease overcrowding in its prisons to prevent "needless suffering and death." California's 33 adult prisons were designed to hold about 80,000 inmates and now have about 145,000. The U.S. has more than 2 million people in state and local prisons. It has long had the highest incarceration rate in the world. REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson (UNITED STATES - Tags: CRIME LAW POLITICS SOCIETY IMAGES OF THE DAY)

any inducement, other than a field trip to the Middle East and a chance to kill, kill, kill.

In all, the militias, NRA, motorcycle gangs, street gangs, and jail inmates total 8,544,000. If our goal is 10 percent recruitment, that would be over 850,000. Goodbye ISIS.

Of course, there are some that argue that you can’t get rid of ISIS, because it’s not a physical force, it’s an idea. And it’s true that even if you eliminated ISIS, the same kind of fundamentalist assholes would probably pop up under a new name.

But wouldn’t it feel good? Sure some of our fighters will die, and some would get injured and it would end up costing a few billion. But nobody else is stepping up to take on ISIS. It’s time to ice ISIS. We have way more crazies that they do.

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