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Photo Copyright Claire Fuller
Three sisters are gathered in the great hall.
Lady Mary: Can you believe you have to have a penis to inherit this drafty old barn?
Lady Edith: Grow bollocks or commit incest with a cousin. Hobson’s bloody choice.
Lady Sybil: Don’t forget birth order. Both of you are ahead of me.
Lady Mary: It’s all knackered. Why should a wormy piece of flesh mean so much?
Lady Edith: Nothing is more disgusting and smelly. Blimey.
Lady Sybil: You’ve seen one?
Lady Edith: No, but mother says father’s . . .
Lady Mary: Oh, Edith, she’s only seen it three times.
bridgesareforburning 
Ye Gods! Excellent,sardonic piece…intriguingly done in English from England, but convincingly!
Ah, that last line’s hilarious. Great story.
This may be my favorite this week!
Sounds like something my girlfriend might say! Well, it’s just a wormy piece of flesh after all. Great authentic to the realm sounding dialogue, good job, Ron!.
You need to get in touch with the producers Ron – there’s a script out there waiting for your touch. 🙂
oh god that was freakin hilarious ^^ ^^
Dear Ron,
As my brother used to tell my mother, “You pay for your thrills.” I’m stunned to laughter.
shalom,
Rochelle
Dear Ron,
I have acute angina. Can I inherit Downer Abbey? Loved your title and story.
Aloha,
Doug
I bet you do, Doug. HA!
So that’s what the Ladies talk about when the cameras are off. Very creative and funny!
Truly hilarious 🙂
Oh Edith, she’s only seen it three times! (Brilliant!)
Got to say, Ron, this had me laughing just from the title. Great take on the downside of Downer Abbey. Loved it.
That was so funny, as a lover of Downton Abbey I was actually hearing the conversation, voices an all, brill 🙂
It’s funny. It’s not funny. Patrimony is still very much alive and kicking. Great choice of names! “Blimey”??
Well done Ron. Enjoyed it very much.
I’m surprised she even saw it at all with that sack pulled over her head.
Loved it, Ron. Outstanding comedy!
Love it, Ron! What clever, witty dialogue. I enjoyed every line. – Amy
So” twas worth nout but bobbins” .poor Queen. I shall go and try to mop the coffee off of my keyboard now. You are brilliant!
Very funny. But I’m not sure ladies Edith and Mary should know quite so much about it. What do they get up to between takes?
Three is a charm they say. But it’s hard to see that for the poor mother.
i’ve never seen the show, but i can still get the idea. well done.