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Genre: Historical Fiction
I found Ludwig at the inn eating lungs and potatoes. Contempt gleamed in his small bloodshot eyes when he saw me. He knew what I wanted.
I sat across from him. He ignored me, a disgusting sight, gravy on his doublet, filthy, smelling like old piss.
The food shoveled home, he dragged a sleeve across his greasy mouth and belched loudly. He glared and flung a sheaf of papers at me. They fluttered to the floor. I re-assembled them excitedly.
Concerto in D Major for Double Bass. I followed the scrawl of notes and beautiful music played in my head.
I could feel and see every word. Who knew 100 words could blow me away like that? Loved it.
Skilful use of the prompt there Ron, enjoyed it.
Ron,
Every word was in place and played like music. Great job.
Tom
Your use of words here is so well done…
Nice, very nice. I like the way you casually mention “lungs and potatoes” at the beginning – that’s certainly nothing anybody would eat nowadays, so we know at once this is a historical piece. And I think I’ve read that THE Ludwig tended to be a grumpy slob. But what really makes your story sing (sorry) is the last sentence!
Sublime! In flow, details and last few lines. Eating lung and potatoes with contempt in bloodshot eye…brilliant!
You deftly show that beauty and its opposite can exist together in one person, albeit on different levels. A big pat on the back.
A brilliant but emotionally troubled man. Nice portrayal. Well done.
This does it well. I’m not exactly sure if Beethoven was that way, but he sure was a genius (which, then again …).
You brought out the contrast between the two very different men so nicely. I like the way you get into the details of that filthy man. Literally could imagine him..
Fantastic story. My favourite – I love the way you write. Am green with envy!
wow. hooked from beginning to end! i was able to imagine every single detail, thanks to your words!
Wow and WOW! Art and great music will find a way out, even if it is funneled through those who do not create. How can such beauty come from the fingers of such a gross human?
Speaking as a gross human, I think you have to separate the artist and his or her art.
this was different and interesting
looks like the inside is a slight bit lovelier than the outside.
Fantastic. I could picture the scene perfectly. You set it up so nicely in the words. So well chosen.
Beethoven!!! Very cool… I loved the descriptions. Lungs and Potatoes… what the hell!
Can you wait for a moment, please, whilst I readjust my senses back to the present day? Vivid setting, Ron … but I have to say I’m glad I’m not Mr B’s waitress or maid!
Wow, the picture you paint of a total slob, in such contrast to the beauty inside, is amazing. I guess it’s true what they say about judging books by covers.
Definitely got an Amadeus theme going there, Ron, despite the name of Ludwig Van. And makes the point beautifully that genius and “beauty” or even mere presentability may be mutually exclusive. Looking back at the prompt, even the instruments look slovenly! Of course, I’ve lost my appetite now ….
Incredibly vivid story-telling using all the senses. The only point that drew me up and made me read again was this line: ‘He ignored me, a disgusting sight, gravy on his doublet, filthy, smelling like old piss.’ At first read, because the description follows the word ‘me’, I thought the narrator was a disgusting sight etc. However, I can’t see that anyone else made this comment, so it was probably just me! Lovely writing.
Hi Claire,
I agree. The antecedent is somewhat ambiguous. When you economize on words, you sometimes get yourself into a grammatical bind. Ron
Very well done. It’s not always obvious where beauty can come from.
A talented slob. Very vivid story
Loving all the musical history today. Great job!
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/love-with-strings-attached/
Very interesting! A character study with gritty detail and a happy ending. Nicely done!
Superb, Ron. I think this one of your best. It really jumped off the page for me. Your character is so vivid. Artists can be so temperamental. You capture that well here. I love the throwing of the fluttering papers that he reassembled excitedly. Perfect.
A great moment captured – evocative stuff.
Mmm, I can’t imagine Beethoven ever creating anything beautiful on a diet of lungs and potatoes but I loved the story and the imagery you created, too 🙂
Very well written.. It’s just a pity the work has been lost and forgotten since. Would have loved to hear it.
I really like this one.
have you seen “amadeus”? i’m sure you have, and that spirit is present here. well done.
I liked this. Zeroes in on that unique dichotomy that can be found with genius — in almost any field. I’ve known a few creative geniuses who fit this description, but, thank God, I’ve also known many who do not. I also liked the fact that the performer was a TRUE musician: appreciated the music for its own power and beauty — irrespective of the grossness of its source.
oh you do characterization well. what a GREAT description. I loved this story.
This was really interesting, never envisioned Beethoven eating lungs and potatoes. So vivid, especially
The food shoveled home, he dragged a sleeve across his greasy mouth and belched loudly. He glared and flung a sheaf of papers at me. They fluttered to the floor. I re-assembled them excitedly.
Tells you so much about the character. Great job!
Enjoyed it. Also, read the last one on privacy and computers. Scary!
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/01/13/cliches-friday-fictioneers-late/
Scott
Brilliant! Such a clear picture, and a reminder not to judge anyone on their appearance.
Dear Ron,
Not sure how I missed you. Sharp contrast between the composer’s persona and his soul. You captured it beautifully and caused me to lose my appetite at the same time. Good job.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Dear Ron,
Was hoping to end my reading tonight on a high note and you dod not disappoing. ‘Lungs and potatoes”?
Brilliaint story. Out of the box. Reeking of period. And a paean to the power of music.
Aloha,
Doug
Great description, Ron. I can see this scene playing out in front of me.
Very nice, and loved the opening. Got to love those rare double bass concertos right?