My weird dream

I had a weird dream. I was at some kind of convention for insurance salespeople. Like all dreams, I had no idea how I got into the situation.

I was wandering around, worried someone was going to notice I didn’t belong there, when I saw a woman in a white smock with a name tag that said Flo and she had one of those bump-it things in her dark hair. She was with a man who was a white horse from the waist down. She asked me if I would like to get bundled. I wasn’t sure what that was, but I was afraid it was some form of horseplay. I declined politely and broke off the encounter.

I turned away quickly, just in time to see a homely middle-aged guy wearing white coveralls. He had a sledgehammer in his hands and was beating the hell out of a nice new car. He smirked like he was really enjoying himself. Nobody else seemed to care, so I went looking for a cop to report his vandalism.

I couldn’t find a cop. Instead I ran into a little guy with a black mustache named J.J. Hightail, clad in red coveralls. He claimed to be a former NASCAR driver. He was singing off key and wiggling his butt. I hightailed it out of there.

Then I met up with this distinguished looking black guy with a rich deep voice. No smock, no coveralls. He was nicely dressed. Finally someone who appeared normal. But then he went into some kind of ventriloquism act, throwing his voice so that it seemed like his words were coming out of other people’s mouths. Either that, or he was taking possession of their bodies like a demon. It was strange and scary. So I got out of there before his voice started coming out of my mouth.

Then I saw something that really freaked me. A small green lizard was walking around on its back legs and talking with a British accent. He seemed to be talking to some Neanderthal types who seemed upset. The lizard asked me if I had 15 minutes. I wondered what he had in mind. The cavemen seemed to be getting more and more agitated. I was afraid they were going to go prehistoric on my ass, so I fled.

Then I woke up in my recliner, turned off the TV and went to bed, relieved that reality was nothing like my eerie dream.

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3 responses to “My weird dream

  1. I chuckled all the way through this one, Ron. I’m not crazy about Flo or the lizard and wouldn’t want to horse-around with any of these characters. Thank God you woke up before they “bundled” you.

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