The Long Walk – Flash Fiction for 7/6/12

Photo courtesy Amanda Gray

Ramon liked the desert. It was clean and empty and smelled of sage and sand. He had crossed the border the night before and had twenty miles behind him. With only the clothes on his back and a gallon jug of water, this time he was determined to make it to the  big valley and find work in the fields.

Five miles along, he came across the abandoned  structure. He was resting in the shade of the building when he heard the drone coming. Ducking inside, he shook with fear until it passed.

A week later, Ramon was picking  tomatoes.

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17 responses to “The Long Walk – Flash Fiction for 7/6/12

  1. Interesting. I liked Ramon’s description of the desert: “It was clean and empty and smelled of sage and sand.” I don’t normally think of “like” and “desert” together.

    You made me extremely curious as to where we are. It seems like some sort of futuristic place (I was definitely thinking another planet) when you used the word “drone.”

    I’m glad he reached the tomato fields. I hope the drone doesn’t return! 🙂

  2. I enjoyed this but left a few questions in my head… which is no bad thing! Wondering where he is, if he is even in this world. Can’t help but think of Firefly.

  3. LOL.. i used to be married to a Marine harrier pilot stationed out of Yuma AZ. When Ramon ducked into the abandoned building upon hearing a drone overhead.. i totally thought he was going to get blown up for wandering into a live weapons proving ground! Shows you where my head is!

    Otherwise, great writing.

  4. last year we saw a drone come over, and it didn’t make any noise. I assume they were looking for weed. No one wants to admit we live in a police state, but that’s pretty much what it’s coming to.

  5. Dear Ron,

    Sorry for getting to this so late. i’m glad i did, though. Lovely story, somehow both chilling and pastoral. Don’t know how you do it.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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